The War on Ants! - How to Get Rid of Them

Spring is here and so are the ants. Consequently, it’s time for me to write a post dedicated to getting those annoying little creatures out of the house. I’m not a professional exterminator but over the years I’ve had so many problems with ants that I’ve gotten pretty good at getting rid of them. As a matter of fact, I’ve been more successful than the monthly exterminator services I’ve hired previously. It’s all about knowing the way ants work. Except for a few exceptions, most house ants find a place in the wall or near plumbing to nest. There’s a queen ant pumping out tons of baby ants. All the male ants do is eat, lounge around the nest and mate with the queen; just like human males. They don’t even have to make a living! I’m sure many of the female readers of this blog won’t be surprised to find out that the sterile female worker ants do all the work with nothing in return other than being the first to eat. They build the tunnels, gather food, and groom and feed the others (male ants, larvae and queen) in the colony. The thing about ants is they are extremely prolific reproducers but also extremely stupid. They’re more than happy to eat food with a delayed poisonous effect and take it back to the colony for everyone to enjoy. Because most humans aren’t as stupid as ants (I’ll admit some are), knowing the information in the last sentence is all you need to know to effectively get rid of ants. If you see an area with ants crawling around, never spray an aerosol insecticide at it. Yes, you’ll kill the ants in the immediate area, but the queen ant will be pumping out replacements by the second. It’s like dealing with terrorists in the Middle East. You can kill all the little guys but to have a real effect you have to get the guys in charge. The key is to lay down poisonous bait so the dumb worker ants take it back to the colony. The whole colony parties with the delicious meal the workers provide. All of the sudden, they all begin to get sick and before they can complain to the health department, they die. The bait with which I’ve had the most success is a product called Combat ant killing gel. It’s available at most large hardware and big box home improvement stores. It comes in a syringe and I think it works much better than discs or ant traps. To use it you lay a small bead (about an inch) in an area where you see a swarm or trail of ants. The good thing about this product is that it can be put in a crack or an area where a pet or child won’t get to it. It doesn’t have to be placed in the middle of the trail, just close to it. Don’t overdo it. Don’t put tons of the gel down, or in places where there are no ants. You don’t want to attract ants from the outside. After a while you’ll see the ants having a feeding frenzy on the gel. When this happens you’re 90% there. Don’t touch or disturb them. If you like, offer them a glass of wine to enjoy with the meal. I recommend a cote du Rhone. You may see what appear to be dead ants after they’ve been dining for a while. Again, don’t touch or disturb them. After a day or less, the ants and the gel will be gone. So will the ants from the colony. SUCCESS! Or as Charley Sheen would say, WINNING! You probably won’t be rid of ants forever. New colonies are produced all the time. They may pop up in different areas of the house, but now that you’re an expert exterminator….no problem. Use the same method for the new colony. You’ll know what you’re doing so you’ll be in control.